Hockey Night In Canada at the DUCK SHED!

1.  The ferry to and from Wolfe Island is called the Wolfe Islander III, fits plenty of cars, and has a NO COCKTAILS sign prominently displayed on the car deck.

2.  There’s not a whole lot of running water on Wolfe Island, and hence, not a lot of chances for a hypochondriac freak like me to wash my hands four or five times an hour as per usual.

3.  The deck of a sheet metal and plywood duck hunting shed overlooking a tranquil little bay under sunny skies is the perfect stage for a Canadian literary festival.

4.  When shitting in the woods because the line up to the outhouse is too long, be VERY careful what type of leaves you choose to wipe with. Yeeouch!!!

5.  The Wolfe Island Literary Festival attracts an amazing array of intimidating talent, such as the poignant and hilarious sports poet Priscilla Uppal, scientist and travel writer Wayne Grady (Breakfast at the Exit Café), novelist Alison Pick (The Sweet Edge), environmentalist Andrew Nikiforuk (The Tar Sands), poet laureate Tanis Rideout, star power Joseph Boyden, and founder Dave Bidini.

6.  Alison Pick looks really cute in my Canucks cowichan sweater.

7.  Never judge a hoser by his appearance. Off-island, that drunken, heckling, wildly offensive yahoo may just be one of the most respected criminal lawyers in all of Canada!

8.  Most common Wolfe Island excuse for long, loud, audible farting: “Wow, the bullfrogs sure are cranky tonight, eh?”

9.  Joseph Boyden plays a mean mouth harp!

10.  Stars are this year’s headliner of the Wolfe Island Music Festival, Aug 6 and 7.

11. If I can’t be in my Fortress of Hockey Solitude, the Duck Shed on Wolfe Island is the best place in Canada to watch the Stanley Cup Playoffs, on an old TV with rabbit ears, surrounded by a “League of Extraordinary Canadians” stuffed into the shed, perched on an array of mismatched chairs: Sarah Harmer, Stewart Jones, Selina Martin, Joseph Boyden, Chris Brown, Virginia Clark, Bryan Bean, Simon Racioppa, the Mattson family of Brophy’s Point, all the other authors, the folks of Swim Drink Fish Music, the Wolfe Islander III ferry staff, and several of the loudest, most obnoxious hosers I have ever had the pleasure of celebrating a Vancouver Canucks OT win with. Even the guy is the Boston Bruins t-shirt was nice.

12. The festival is held in memory of Joe Burke, who passed away a few years ago; an inspirational civil rights lawyer, a patron of the arts, and a lover of Canadian literature.

13. The Wolfe Island Bakery serves up a scrumptious blueberry scone.

14. The 8^th Annual Joe Burke Literary Festival will be held in New Orleans in April 2012, hosted by Joseph Boyden!

15. When the staggering hangover of the 7^th Annual Joe Burke Literary Festival eventually fades, as well as the unfortunate bum rash, I hope to eventually return to the magic of Wolfe Island.

Thanks to Dave Bidini, Mark Mattson, Tanis Rideout, Virginia Clark, Swim Drink Fish Music, Lake Ontario Waterkeeper, and patrons of the arts and the Duck Shed.

More photos of the event can be seen here.

Pointing out the Osprey nest on the shore of Shuswap Lake in Salmon Arm BC.

I just finished up another string of fun book events around BC. Big thanks to Bolen Books in Victoria, Volume One Books in Duncan, and the Shuswap Writers Festival for having me! I had a fantastic time at all three. In Duncan, I had the unexpected pleasure to go for beers after the event with a fellow named David Boeckner, none other than the father of Daniel Boeckner, one of my favourite Canadian musicians, from Wolf Parade (RIP) and the Handsome Furs.

Just this past weekend, my wife and I did the cannonball up the Trans Canada Highway to the Shuswap Writers Festival in gorgeous Salmon Arm, BC, two place names that could only exist in BC. I loved this festival for its strong emphasis on story-telling. I met a lot of inspiring people, both authors and attendees alike, including an amazing 83 year old retired frontier doctor who loved my stories and taught me how to search my body for ticks.

I still feel a little new to the book festival circuit, but I’m slowly working out the differences between music festivals and the book festivals… mostly, book festivals keep much more reasonable hours and are WAY less obnoxious. And I don’t need earplugs! Or a roll of toilet paper hidden in my bag! So great!

The Shuswap Writers Fest was held at a hotel right on the shore of Shuswap Lake, the estuary between the hotel and the lake absolutely filled with birds of all descriptions. Directly outside our hotel room window (as you can sort of see in the photo above) was an osprey nest on a raised platform. All day mama osprey would sit on her eggs while papa would swing by for frequent visits.

Next up: the Wolfe Island Literary Festival in Ontario this coming weekend…

AND… GO CANUCKS GO!

The Geek and the Giant. A visit to Cathedral Grove.

I’ve been on Vancouver Island for about five days and will be here for another week. The primary reason I’m on the Island is to guest host All Points West on CBC Radio 1, filling in for the regular host Jo-Ann Roberts. The show airs Monday – Friday 3pm – 6pm on CBC Radio 1 and can be heard everywhere in BC except Vancouver.

This past weekend I tagged along on my wife’s Vancouver Island tour to celebrate our first anniversary, hitting Tofino (thanks to everyone at Sobo Restaurant, the Middle Beach Lodge, and the Tofino Legion for treating us so well) and then to the Waverley Hotel in the little town of Cumberland, which resembles a kind of West Coast Deadwood.

This week, I’ll be doing two book events on the Island: on Monday May 16, I’ll be at Bolen Books at the Hillside Shopping Centre at 7pm for a signing, reading, and Q + A. On Friday, I’ll be at Volume One Books in Duncan at 8pm for an event that will include a reading, slideshow, Q + A, signing, and short movie.

Hope to see you!